Untitled 20130314

Here's something i wrote.
Untitled:
The odds are stacked against me.
I'm barely holding on.
A mans world this is truly, yet, still I'm standing strong.
The times are ever changing. I push to rise above. I strive to be all i can be. But I'm still weak in a mans eyes. A female soldier i will be. No matter what they say. In this life i am born to shine. So stand back and watch me soar. A Female soldier rising above and conquering this mans world.

Fire and Gasoline

I used to think you were untouchable
you stood 10 feet tall
but now all i see is a sudden mess in you
and you are so small
you call yourself a man but you don't know what that is
you call yourself a good person
but you bring out the worst in me

You say one thing
i catch fire
and suddenly
your the gas to start the inferno
The lovely times that meant so much
are now nothing and sit in a pile of dust
Fire and Gasoline thats what we are
no good for one another
no good at all.

You told me everything I wanted to hear
you still laid me down at night
didn't matter that you had a girl
because what you say makes it alright
so month after month as you laid me down
she still has no clue
she don't know what she's gotten herself into now....
here let me light that fuse!


You say one thing
i catch fire
and suddenly
your the gas to start the inferno
The lovely times that meant so much
are now nothing and sit in a pile of dust
Fire and Gasoline thats what we are
no good for one another
no good at all.

I thought that I loved you
but love can be false
it can be a web of lives
a river of hurt
there is nothing better for us to be doing
than to be avoiding the fire
and go on with someone else and start living.....


You say one thing
i catch fire
and suddenly
your the gas to start the inferno
The lovely times that meant so much
are now nothing and sit in a pile of dust
Fire and Gasoline thats what we are
no good for one another
no good at all.

To my Independent Women!

Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

I started with this verse for a particular reason. I can only speak from my life experiences and pray that they can bless you. 

  In today's society it shown that us women are to stand up and be independent. There is nothing wrong with being independent. Don't mistake what I'm about to say. But we are the Priestess' of our homes. If we are married we are to SUBMIT to our husbands. We are not to unequally yoked with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? )
I was raised up to be independent. I'm stubborn; hardheaded; rebellious; mouthy...and i could go on and on. But I didn't really learn anything til divorce was at my doorstep. I didn't understand why I should submit to my husband when HE wasn't being the Priest in our home. I got tired and I got mad and eventually cheated in my heart. I thought about it time and time again. I went to church. I praised God in my sin and  I wanted so much for my home to be blessed. i wanted that baby. I wanted that happy little christian family. I didn't get it. My marriage in the beginning wasn't blessed or ordained by God. I messed up. I thought the only way to keep a man right off the bat was to sleep with him. SHAME ON ME! I know the word. I know what it says about fornication. I know that someone that commits adultery and/or fornication are not getting into heaven. thats in the word. So for my independent woman i ask you: What kind of example are we being in our homes? I know i wasn't doing all that i could for God. I stopped singing. I stopped praising Him thru my storms. I stopped praising him when things when wrong. I stopped trusting him and started standing with the Devil. thats not the kind of woman I want to be. I want to be a woman of integrity. I want to be the woman whose actions speak louder than her words. I want my home to be blessed. Even if it is only me in it. I don't want people to show up at my house at 5 am drunk and needing a place to stay. I want them to be home getting their lives right. I am now bound for the military. I did a compulsive thing. I did it and now i'm in and i'm pushing harder and persevering more than i have ever persevered in my life. I've lost the weight. I know the creeds. I know what to do and how to think on my feet. I did it. Because i've lost most everything that I've held dear in this world. 
Many of you are probably thinking whats the point to this... my point is this. We have become woman of the world thinking that material things are everything. We want the shoes; the bags; the name brand everything's that really mean nothing. In some ways when I dated my husband I was blessed because we had nothing. We did things to make memories that I will never be able to forget. But we did them together and we loved each other with nothing. I ask you this: if you husband; boyfriend; significant other were broke would you still be with them? If they couldn't provide for you the things YOU "wanted" would you still be with them? I can answer yes because that's when I fell in love. But I also learned that if i don't stay prayed up and in the word daily that I will not be blessed and i will not be going to heaven.

I stand now and always a woman of the Military; A daughter of a Mighty King and a woman of Integrity. What kind of woman do you want to be?

So my challenge to you ladies is this:
Watch what you say around your children!
Submit to your husbands (as long as he is in the will of God)
Be a woman of character and integrity
and ask yourself...if my man has nothing would i stay?

Drink your memory away

Moments come and moments go
time changes within the soul
I thought that time would heal all wounds
but instead they turn into painful scars

I took one drink
that turned into two
I promised myself
I would hate you
but everytime i see your face
i take just one more drink

the birdges were built on stable ground
we still had secrets within our walls
the storms did come and the bridges fell
we were both on a one way ticket to hell


I took one drink
that turned into two
I promised myself
I would hate you
but everytime i see your face
i take just one more drink

I thought that i'd be over you
when you found someone new
i thought that i'd be strong enough
to get over you
I see that my wounds aren't healed
and you still set my soul aflame


I took one drink
that turned into two
I promised myself
I would hate you
but everytime i see your face
i take just one more drink
one more drink to drink your memory away