The game

 I may wonder how you're doing
And I'd like to see your face
I want to kiss your lips
And watch the stress melt away
But today I finally realized
I'm just a pawn in your game
You're the king calling the shots
I'm the distressed Dame
You wanted every part of me
To lock me away 
And part of me was okay with that
I chose to stay. 
I gave you my everything
When you just fed me lies
I didn't see it then
But now I see your disguise. 
You faked all your emotions
To make things go your way
You told me that you loved me
Cause it's what I wanted you to say. 
Yet you had someone you "needed" 
And she was your queen
I was just your part time girl
The one you'd see only at night
It's hard for me to hate you
Because right now I just hate me
For being so naive to your game
For being blind and unable to see
I loved you with my whole being
Every ounce of me
And in return I'm paying the price for being dumb. 
I'm better than a pawn 
In your rigged game of chess
I'm stronger than your queen.
I'll survive and progress
Don't you think that because I care 
Means I'll be there tomorrow
I'm blowing this game out the water. 
You lose.  Because I'm finished

steal my breath

Push me up against the wall
Kiss Me nice and soft
Create the perfect moment
To make me lose my breath

Hold me closely in your arms
Don't ever let me go
Remind me that's things are good
And I'm the one person you wish you could...

Could give your heart completely too
To love all your life
To cuddle when it's stormy
To hold tight at night
But for now all I'm lucky to get
Is the stolen kisses on my lips
That still steal my breath

Walk with me hand n hand
Kiss my forehead please
Look at me gazingly like I'm the only woman you see

Take me out to see the world
Like no one's ever seen it
Love like you won't let go
Say it only if you mean it

Hold me closely in your arms
Don't ever let me go
Remind me that's things are good
And I'm the one person you wish you could...

Could give your heart completely too
To love all your life
To cuddle when it's stormy
To hold tight at night
But for now all I'm lucky to get
Is the stolen kisses on my lips
That still steal my breath

Where is the reason why?

Where is the sunshine inside my heart?
Why is it now I'm falling apart?
I walk around and act like toy don't exist
Yet deep in my heart the ache persists.
I was your wife friend your cherished one
The one who brought u joy when no one could.
On those rainy days we'd hold each other close
On those cold nights you stayed by my side.
I'm not perfect but I was perfect for you
And now I don't exist I'm just a burden a woman you used to know.
And though in my heart the hurt is going away.
You cheated on me too and why didn't u stay?
She stays when you lied and she treated you like shit.
I walked away cause you didn't push for me to stay
We could have fixed it. If you weren't afraid to try.
And now all I can do is ask myself a sad and lonely why!

God gave me you

God gave me you
1/5/14

A flutter in my belly was all that I could feel
The day I saw you move made me believe that you were real.
You woke me up constantly for those 3 am snacks
Which was ok with me cause I found the best friend I never had.
My belly grew bigger and my fears grew less
You were growing just fine and I counted myself blessed
But when the moment changed when your life was in the line
The pain of loss consumed me I waited for the worse
But there's this strength within me that's not ready for birth.
Now you are still growing and I'm trying to stand tall
With every kick,  punch and flip flop you remind me why I have to stand strong.
I'm not gonna be the perfect mother and you won't be the prefect son.
But I'm willing to fight for your life now in the womb;  outside of the womb and for your continuance of freedom.
I thought I loved another note than I loved you....
But you are my little miracle my blessing my heart and I'm blessed God gave me you. 

Tell me why?

I wanna remember how it feels to be held close
To have the gentle kisses on my neck
I wanna be held in Arms so loving they won't let me go
Instead of this old t shirt to comfort me

I want to know why you truly left
Why you've drug me along for all this time
Why did you love me like you did when you were mine
But only behind closed doors?

Tell me why?
Tell me how?
Tell me when is my life going to start without you
Show me now... What you want of me
Either love me or let me go
But please tell me.

Remember those long car rides leading no where
And goofy things we used to do
Remember making love under the stars on the side of the road
Cause we could wait to get home
Remember when we were us....
Now the times have changed and we've grown apart
We act like we never were anything
I'm sorry but I can't lie to my heart...
You complete me your the other half of by heart....

Tell me why?
Tell me how?
Tell me when is my life going to start without you
Show me now... What you want of me
Either love me or let me go
But please tell me.

Either love me or let me go
But either way....
Please tell me....

The girl in the mirror

That girl in the mirror
She doesn't know who she is
Thru the painted smile she wears
She's not sure when her life should begin
With brokenheart she carries
She knows her world's in disarray
So she's just trying to find her true smile today.

Her eyes have dark circles
from where she cries all night
Make sets on the counter waiting to see what face she wants to shine
Her words are full of hate from the pain that's been inflicted
There's no joy in the woman she gazes at.

That girl in the mirror
She doesn't know who she is
Thru the painted smile she wears
She's not sure when her life should begin
With brokenheart she carries
She knows her world's in disarray
So she's just trying to find her true smile today.

From the tears in the shower
To the flat iron she runs thru her hair
The outfit she picks shows the world that she's not scared
But between the horrid lies that roll from his lips
She torn between forgiving him and burning that bridge

Ooh girl there's so much more to the world than this
So much more you can be
Faith is the Darin to see the unseen you gotta find the beauty deep within the woman you want to be....

That girl in the mirror
She doesn't know who she is
Thru the painted smile she wears
She's not sure when her life should begin
With brokenheart she carries
She knows her world's in disarray
So she's just trying to find her true smile today.
Can she find her smile....today?