Dilemna

Im sittin here pondering
On which road I should take
Which for do I choose this time
Which will change my fate.
Do I say I love you
And beg you to come back
Do I tell your loving gf
That your ruin your guys' life
I was considered the cheater
I shattered the hearts
I took advantage of the kindness
That ripped us apart
Well let me tell u something
About what's on my heart
Tell u of my heartache and pain inside my heart
Id tell u that lying isnt getting your way
Being the cheater in secret makes you want to play the game
Dont forget I was the cheater
I did everything wrong
But this is what id say about my dilemna
If I could tell your girlfriend what was going on

Oh the updates:

Well, I haven't updated since i was in ait...or maybe right after i got home. There has been so much going on it's not funny. We all do dumb things when we least expect it. We all make mistakes and go back to people we know are bad for us. and in result we get sucked right back into the same old drama and hurts that we had walked away from. Basic training was a blessing in disguise. It was challenging; hard; mentally stressful; physically demanding and tiresome. When i got back from basic in july i was down a total of 115 lbs. taking me to my lowest weight since ive been since i was in middle school.  well you know how i loved my alcohol. one thing led to another and the first 3 weeks that i was home i spent it being drunk everyday. Well if the drinking wasn't enough, I got  pregnant. So now i'm 7 weeks pregnant. A miracle within it's self. yes, i don't know for 100% who the childs father is. But it doesnt matter. I will survive and my baby will be loved.

I think thats all the news in an flash. As my pregnancy progresses i'll keep you all posted.