My heart...older poem i found

My heart
I gave my heart to you
With forever on my mind
I knew it would be a challenge
But God was on our side
The attraction was instantaneous We clicked right away
The sex was super fabulous
And my life was never the same
I gave you my heart blindly
With dreams and hopes to persue
We planned forever kindly
And love was all we knew
We made our stance
Through sickness and health
For rich or for poor
Being poor rather than having wealth My heart it beats an irregular beat Since all i see is goodbye at my feet Love endures all things hopes all things Believes all things
and yet we're still here.
Im just sorry my heart still beats for yours
And that yours beats for her
We could have lasted and worked through our problems
But your love wasnt unconditional Shes already taken your forever.
My heart still beats for you
And im still running now all alone Know that my loves unconditional for you.
And no matter where your at
My heart is still yours.

I'll survive

Im making a new vow today
To stand up on my own.
I wont let anyone come my way
I wont let them bring me down
Ive been down this road bwfor
And fallen on my face
Ive had skinned up knees and broken dreams that brought me back down from space
My life is in a mess right now
Im in love all by myself
But hes found a diamond in the rough She's beautiful and fun and makes him smile...i can see all his wealth.
Still the silence gathers around me
As he spends most nights with her
I'm making my way through all the dookie.
Ill survive
Ill thrive
And I'll be just fine.

Between a rock and a hard place...

I was sitting at home last night on my last day off for the next week or so and i was just kinda wondering what in the world would happen once i move on. What will happen when i find myself in a home of my own and doing my own things and making my own way and i'll be standing wondering what in the world is my purpose. Yes, I know that i have a chance to dream and to be on my own but what is my purpose. I mean dont get me wrong i love the fact that i'm ready to step out and get on my own and to be the things that i know that i can. Yet, I'm sitting here starting to pack up my life all over again and ready to step out. I'm not gonna lie I'm terrified. I don't know what to think or what to do. it's like here i am starting all over again and i'm going to be ok. So as for today, I'm ok. Just gettin ready to work for the next 5 days or so and take it all in. Just to be me and just do what i need to do. :) This too Shall Pass! be blessed

Seek ye first the kingdom of God

Inspiration is the key to parts of success, if not the spark to light the fire under our butts to help get things moving. It's something we need to open our eyes to; that burning in our soul that makes us strive and want to do more with our lives. Recently I've been in this extremely dark place. A place where i can't see the sun even if i wanted too. It was a place where there wasn't any dreaming, hoping and/or faith. I found myself angry and pining for the approval of someone who doesn't truly seem me anymore.I was greeted with nothing but flack and heart ache. No one can make you feel inferior unless you let them. At this point I'm done. I"m better than that! No, I'm not saying that i'm perfect and i'm not even gonna say that i'm better than most. I'm just netty. And I am getting back to finding my own way without any mans approval because i don't need it. I'm good at being an outcast. I'm good at being strong on my own two feet. My inspiration comes thru my pain. I may not be able to ever love someone 100%, but the fact is that i will love. I will d5ream. I will hope and keep the faith. Even though i'm good at walking away from God and making a mess of my life. He has never left me. He has never stopped loving me. And His approval is all I need. Only challenge today: Find your own inspiration. Find it within yourself. And seek Gods approval not mans! Be blessed y'all!

Holding onto a promise

Hebrews 10:23 reads ' Let us old tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise'

This was the new verse of the day for me. With all that is going on in my life theres a moment when i need confirmation that He is still listening. No i'm not saying that i don't believe that he's there and that he's working, it's just a matter of hey there's hope for tomorrow even when today truly doesn't make sense. I've realized that when i say something and people take offense to it and it's not anything that should be taken offense to that its just a sign that God is moving in that person. I am one person. There's not one thing that God can or won't do to make this life more bearable. He will never give us more than we can handle. At this point my life is amazing. I love my job, love the people i'm living with and standing on Gods Cornerstone that he's created for me. Yes there are more times that not that i want to feed my flesh and in some ways i still do. However, if he can deliver me from those ways of sin than i know that he will find a way to keep me from those ways of sin. Just like Satan tempting Job. He took everything from him. his family, his fortune, his friends...everything that could be held dear to us was gone. And yet while the storm was raging around Job HE still PRAISED GOD FOR EVERYTHING!

My challenge is to stand on the promise gave you. Believe that God is going to do it because he is able. Now if it's a wish for riches and fame thats not likely to happen. God doesn't want us to be of the world so we have to step back and figure out what He wants us to do. But For a healing...claim it and believe that it's been done. for restoration/ reconciliation... have faith and know that he's God and all things are possible through Christ. Every moment of every life you can find something that will bless you. It's only a matter of if we can see it.
God is great, but his holy spirit and blessings are so much greater than we can even imagine. So stand on the promise God has presented to you. If it's something that is worldly rethink you choice. God blesses the faithful.
Be strong my brothers and sisters. God is moving!

A sudden memory

For the love of my Savior, i stand in awe and the wonderous signs he's given me. I give him thanks for what twists and turns my life has had and is still going to have. There is a song in me that is still welling up inside. I sang my heart out last night. I was so tired when i got done that i was sweating. Isn't that how we are suppose to praise God. We are suppose to be warn out and tired every time we do. We go to the club and give it our all...why can't we give God our all? I can actually answer that one. When we are trusting what we can't see we dont believe that he is there. It's like at the club your with a bunch of strangers you don't know and they are there so we have to do our best. We have to try every move we have to make sure that God is paying attention to us. but in reality He's always there. He's never left us. Even when we walk away. There's a song that i have discovered that simply states " No matter what we're going thru what have to learn to bring our praise..." Amazing at how many times we stand at attention at the door and don't want to know. Matthew 7:7 states- ask and you shall receive, seek ye shall find, knock and the door will be opened unto you...
So i ask how come we aren't asking seeking and knocking? This is a hard lesson that i had to learn this week myself. I let the devil get the best of me. Yep i said it. The Devil Got The Best Of ME! with everything that was within me i kicked the person that i love the most and brought him down. I keep having visions. I don't know if they are from God i don't think that they are but my whole world stopped when the man I love the most, filled me with love and compassion. I don't know how to act now. I was so convicted so stupid that i was the one that had fallen off the cornerstone that i have been standing one. I burned the rest of the bridge that was before me. I ruined everything again! My tounge got the best of me and somehow my mind ran off with me as well.
I walked into church yesterday after working 10 hrs at the child development center, and i was so tired. I couldn't wait to get home in fact by the end of things i was falling asleep in the door way. i walked into church that there is this weight that comes over me. I'm not sure what it's suppose to mean but my heart gets super heavy like theres stones place within it. Although i had met someone who is pretty amazing i don't know where i'm leading my heart. Instead of being what i was and jumping into bed with this person i'm waiting to see what he truly wants. And so far, things are not in his favor. I'm running around wondering what i need to do and God is putting me closer and closer to Jesus and himself. So i'm just standing my ground I want to be like Esther...When there was something that she needed to stand for, she found a way to do it.And now, i'm the one that is going to e able to be the vistor in all things. God is making a way.

So today based on Matthew 7:7
my challenege is Ask God for help, Seek Him out to find the answers, Knock and God will provide a door for you to walk thru!

Be blessed ya'll!

Letting the storm consume you...

Ok so I'm guilty! Yesterday I spent the day completely convicted by God. Why? Because I was being hateful and the devil was havin a good ride! I spent more of my day hating myself and my actions than actually enjoying God yesterday.here's how we turned it around. I called my amazing sister in Christ Marlene, and she started prayin. The thing about it is she was right. I needed to hear what I had to deal with even though I didn't like it. God had convicted my heart so bad that my clouded mind couldn't make sense of anything. Than she gave me the verse Isaiah 2:22 which reads

"Don’t put your trust in mere humans.

They are as frail as breath.

What good are they?"

This is when I realized I wasn't truly seeking Gods will but Netty's will and want! Yes I can bless and heal but I have to look past the humans! I have to look past my fellow man and look up to my heavenly Daddy! When I read what I read it was covered in love. And it convicted my heart to the point I coulnt look myself in the mirror. I couldn't stand the sight of my reflection. But let me tell you. Once my judgement was cleared, and my mind at ease, I reread what was said. What a world of difference. My heart had deceived me. What I needed to see was this: there was love, hurt, lies and false accusations from God. All things that I had done in one poisoning way. And it was returned with love, blessings, reassurance, hurt, and pain. I felt that this person didn't love me. And in return they have been more kind and loving in the last few minutes to put me in my place again. Wow! God wasn't messing around today. He loves me so much that he made someone I was trying to make an enemy an example that at first I didn't truly see. But now I can see clearly! God plucked me out of the storm so many times and I still want to run. But today is the day that I truly stand! I want the narrow way that leads to everlasting life! So that is what I am striving for!

No challenge right now, but there will be soon! ;) be ready!

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