A Roast Chicken and cleaning

It's such a relief to know that God is with me. I know that here lately I haven't felt him but my heart is changing again. Someone told me the other day that I wasn't the girl that he was looking for...and my smart aleck remark was you could have told me that 2 months ago. lol Oh well. I guess people come into your life when you least expect it. It's like the bible says in Ecclesiates 3. Theres a time for everything. This must be my time and season that i'm to find who I truly am. I'm still struggling not knowing where my roommate is and if they are ok but I know that God is with them. It's funny that when you care for someone so much you spend all your time and energy just praying good things for them. Although i'm not saying that they are walking the way God would have them walk it's still the reassurance in my heart that God is hearing my prayers for them. It's just one of those times when you turn around and analyze everyone that's in your life and why they are doing what they are doing. it's a technical thing i learned from my ex husband. He was/is very educated on things like that. And right now it's just one of those things where with my roommate they don't want me to know where they are and what they are doing because they don't a. want my opinion b. don't want to hurt my feelings. c. they just don't care and they are going to do whatever they want to do. I'm just saying it would be nice to just speak to them to know that they are OK and kind of get a game plan. Any who: So i'm roasting a chicken tonight. Never done that before. It should be interesting. I have the guts and giblets and all that nasty stuff and i'm not quite sure what to do with that...lol So i guess we'll just kinda play that one by ear. It should be a fairly productive night. I'm not going anywhere tonight and tomorrow i'm gonna try to get to church. Money is so tight that i just want to conserve as much as i can so that i'm ahead instead of behind like i have been in the past. it seems like i'm just rambling but it's been so long since I've sat down and just been able to pour out my heart and not be told that i'm stupid or that i'm making dumb decisions. I pour my heart out to God often but still i guess in my mind i would love that someone that i could just sit across from and cry my eyes out. I'm not saying that people haven't been there to hold me when i'm crying it's just that i just want to make it know that sometimes i just need to be held. I know that whenever i'm crying myself to sleep that God has me wrapped up in his arms and that brings comfort but once and a while i want someone physically there to tell me that it's going to be ok and that i'm not going crazy. Because lets admit....i'm more crazy than i was last week. But i'm holding my own. I'm standing on my own two feet. I'm not relying on anyone but me. And for that all i can say is Thank you Lord for blessing me and holding me when i cry!