It's funny how some things just come back around when you least expect it. A lot of you know that I wanted to go into the Peace Corps after high school. That I also wanted to become a famous singer. Lol The singing part I kind of persued but never really wanted to become like the world and sing about sex and things like that. I found churches that i could sing in when I moved to West Virginia and I have been so blessed by the people and the ability to be able to bless them. Since my divorce in May, I've had a lot of time to think. I didn't know what I wanted and I knew who i wanted to be with but that option has slipped away and Thankfully God has healed a great portion of my heart and I've made peace with the situation. I don't want to be someones second choice. I don't want to be someones booty call. I don't want to be someones everything and nothing. Within the last month, there have been so many firsts for me. it's a first time that I've been able to smile from my heart. It's been the first time that I realize that no matter who I love, I can't make them love me enough to want to be with me or to correct the problems. I also learned that words are vain. they only have power when you give them power. I love you's heard over a phone mean nothing if you don't show the person you love them. It's like Works without faith is dead. We have to put feet to our faith. So After highlighting my hair...I was thinking about the bigger purpose of my life. I love people. I love helping people and I love America. There are things about it i don't like but it's still my home and what better gift to give than to protect what I love? So I started the application to join the National Guard. And with that I'll be able to travel and I'll be able to help people. And i'll be able to bless people in the way that I couldn't bless my ex husband. My life has always been about helping and loving others more than myself. I may not have any living children but God's not done with me yet. He is granting me favor and the will power to do what i need to do to survive in this world. He's given me endurance and patience and perserverence. I am surviving without my ex husband. I am struggling but I am climbing my way out of a deep dark place that I have been for such a long time that now when I look up i can see the sunlight. i can see the hope in tomorrow. I can be more that what I was and I'm willing to give everything I can to protect this country as well as find a way to be more respectful, loving, kindhearted and strong willed. So once everything gets processed through...My life though a big change is happening...I am doing this for me. I am making these strides for me. I am Jeanette Southern. I will make my momma proud. And I will represent my home town of Detroit, Mi as well as my home in West Virginia to the best of my ability. There's nothing thats stopping me now. I will be a United States Army National Guard!
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