I have spent so much time wondering and waiting for tomorrow to come and most of the time it seems like i don't want it to come. I wait and wait for the rain to stop but it hasn't. Someone told me that i'm causing others pain. that i'm ruining other peoples lives. I don't think that people take into consideration how they make me feel in the process of why i feel the way i do. It's not a matter of whats right or whats wrong. it's not about who's mindset it better; it's about the truth and that the truth hurts. In the last week or so since i havent blogged or anything iv'e found that i'm searching and searching for something. I'm not sure what it is that i'm looking for but i know that it's gonna be something good. It's not gonna be how many people i can sleep with because thats out of the will of God. It's not gonna be how many dreams and goals i have that i havent reached but what can i do now. what can i do for me.
So here's what i've come up with:
1. I need to learn how to let go and let God. Because when i keep trying to fix things myself i just screw them up 100 times more than they were messed up to begin with.
2. I need to learn to keep my business my business. Yes i know that puts a little bit of a damper on what i'll be sharing on this blog.
3. I have to completely and utterly love myself. No matter how many times people tell me i'm beautiful or sexy or gorgeous i have to believe it myself before the rest of my confidence can be restored.
4. I have to be patient and wait on God. Patience truly isn't my thing but i'm learning. everyday brings a new challenge and i need to know that I have someone out that that's gonna love this mess that i am. And i won't have to change.
5. Move on with my life. The past is the past. Theres no point in dwelling in the rear view mirror and try to change things when you can't open up your eyes and look to whats in front of you because we're too busy worrying about what was and dwelling on the past.
I think of all them...5. is gonna be the hardest for me. There were so many things i did wrong in my marriage. So many stupid mistakes that i could have avoided but in the end i gave up and gave in to the world. I know i hurt my ex husband badly. But i can't change the divorce and i can't change his mind. I can just be me and keep on doing the things that i need to do for me. It's not about what i can do for him anymore. it's about what i can do to make my life better without him. And by the grace of God...I'll be doing just that.
No challenges today just take the time to look yourself in the mirror and decide if you like what you see. If you don't; you have the authority and the power to change it. :)
Have a blessed day!
So here's what i've come up with:
1. I need to learn how to let go and let God. Because when i keep trying to fix things myself i just screw them up 100 times more than they were messed up to begin with.
2. I need to learn to keep my business my business. Yes i know that puts a little bit of a damper on what i'll be sharing on this blog.
3. I have to completely and utterly love myself. No matter how many times people tell me i'm beautiful or sexy or gorgeous i have to believe it myself before the rest of my confidence can be restored.
4. I have to be patient and wait on God. Patience truly isn't my thing but i'm learning. everyday brings a new challenge and i need to know that I have someone out that that's gonna love this mess that i am. And i won't have to change.
5. Move on with my life. The past is the past. Theres no point in dwelling in the rear view mirror and try to change things when you can't open up your eyes and look to whats in front of you because we're too busy worrying about what was and dwelling on the past.
I think of all them...5. is gonna be the hardest for me. There were so many things i did wrong in my marriage. So many stupid mistakes that i could have avoided but in the end i gave up and gave in to the world. I know i hurt my ex husband badly. But i can't change the divorce and i can't change his mind. I can just be me and keep on doing the things that i need to do for me. It's not about what i can do for him anymore. it's about what i can do to make my life better without him. And by the grace of God...I'll be doing just that.
No challenges today just take the time to look yourself in the mirror and decide if you like what you see. If you don't; you have the authority and the power to change it. :)
Have a blessed day!
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