There has been so much hurt and pain in life within really the last year and half. I've been back in WV officially just over a year. Now that i think about it I don't think i was truly ready to move back but there wasn't anything for me in Michigan. Yes, family and some friends and acquaintances, but that wasn't where my heart was. My heart is in WV. I believe it will stay here. But now being through all that i have, Im learning what love isn't. I'm learning how to hate and i'm learning how to beat people to the punch. I don't want to be a liar. I don't want to avoid the truth. Yet, all in the same i'm finding that the more of the truth i speak the less people i have in my life. I've made so many mistakes in my life and i'm only 25 years old. I don't want to keep repeating mistakes that i've made in the past yet, all the same it's what i know. It's what i'm comfortable with. Now, I've lost my best friend...in a word it sucks. But i can't stand by and be someone that i'm not. I did that when i was married and ended up running away. I didn't speak my mind. I didn't tell the truth and when times got really tough i resorted to alcohol to take me a way if only for a few minutes. Thats not who i am. Thats not what i want to be remember for. At the same time though, i don't want people coming up to me and being like...Hey your adams ex wife? or your adams wife? or aren't you related to my old bus driver?
I am my own person. I want to be Just Netty! Nothing else. I'm Netty. I may have been married to Adam but we are no more. I want to just be able to go somewhere and not be known as someones ex wife. I don't think people understand how much it hurts to be seen not as an individual myself but as someones counterpart. I'm not perfect and i never will be. But i will make my stand on my own with the help of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to get through all that i've been through. And when the time comes I'll be known as Netty. The girl that can raise the roof when she sings. The girl that messed up but is blessed because she isn't willing to give up. The girl that is going places and is going to be somebody. NOt that being someone in mans eyes really matters Because i am somebody in Gods eyes.
It's time for me to take a stand with the help of God and not the help of man.
I am my own person. I want to be Just Netty! Nothing else. I'm Netty. I may have been married to Adam but we are no more. I want to just be able to go somewhere and not be known as someones ex wife. I don't think people understand how much it hurts to be seen not as an individual myself but as someones counterpart. I'm not perfect and i never will be. But i will make my stand on my own with the help of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to get through all that i've been through. And when the time comes I'll be known as Netty. The girl that can raise the roof when she sings. The girl that messed up but is blessed because she isn't willing to give up. The girl that is going places and is going to be somebody. NOt that being someone in mans eyes really matters Because i am somebody in Gods eyes.
It's time for me to take a stand with the help of God and not the help of man.
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