Where do I fit in? 05/07

all around me
there are several smiles
smiles of laughter 
smiles of mischief
smiles of love...
where do i fit in?

sunshines down from the sky
and i baske in it alone
I sit on my porch swing
smoking a cigar
and tears roll down my cheeks
this is my new home. 
This is where i'm wanted
but why don't i fit in?

minutes turned into hours
hours into days
days into weeks
weeks into years.
and still i'm searching for
something.

I know now that i 
can't have my own children
that i cant raise my own
and with a sorrowful heart
i'm ok with it.

Everyday is a new challenge
every breath i take 
i know that it's a gift.
a very generous one
one that i know i do not deserve
and some days i just want to let the
breath out of my lungs
and not breath in again.
where am i in the big picture?

where is my happiness?
where is my love?
where do i fit in?

all around me
there are several smiles
smiles of laughter 
smiles of mischief
smiles of love...
where do i fit in?